Marnie_NeverBeentoBlarney said it breaks her heart to watch her daughter crying on the way into music camp every morning, after all the money she spent. It’s getting cultural on our WhatsApp group Douglas Road Stunners Who Force Our Kids to Learn the Cello. I said, why? She said, because it’s Midleton. I said, are you moving there? She said, no. I said, where’s hot this year? She said, Midleton. My friend from school regularly moves town on basis of hot locals. Where would be a good place to move to, I like men? Isn’t Mammy after leaning on me to oppose the motion on the grounds of family solidarity, I’ll have to leave north Cork after this, you can’t be lecturing farmers about their pig shite. There is a meeting in the hall later to debate the motion, ‘This town would ban bitches from Dublin who think we should all smell like Sandymount’. There was only one topic in Gorgeous Hair when I went in to get my highlights done that afternoon - local woman tells 94-year-old bachelor he needs to do something about the smell off his shite.
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